Tuesday, May 08, 2007

I think most all of ours stories sound the same after a while with numerous surgeries (Madison’s first was Tetrology of Fallot and later a valve replacement) and numerous days in the hospital (ours have been countless), but we hardly ever talk about what CHD has meant to us. The terms get thrown around and we all shake ours heads in agreeance about repairs and prognosis, but there is more, isn’t there?

I know for us CHD has changed our every single day from her date of birth on. We thought our world had ended with the diagnosis…we had entered some unchartered waters and had no idea what to expect or who to talk to. Didn’t it truly feel as if you were the first to ever receive such news? “What to do” certainly wasn’t in my baby book! Four years later, 2 open hearts, endless admissions, countless medicines, I have finally changed my mind. I came across a saying that says, “If you cant change it, change the way you think about it”. CHD has become a blessing to us. We thank God for every single day, we know what to stress out about (high blood pressures, unexplained fevers, swelling) and what NOT to stress out about (traffic, mail running late, a flat tire). We had been to the depths of despair, in 3 years planning her funeral twice. Now we are living life…I mean REALLY living life! We lie in the grass, play in the rain, roll down the windows and sing to the radio. Because of Madison’s suffering we now take every moment remembering, this moment…right now in time…almost didn’t happen. We almost weren’t here; we almost weren’t able to do this with her. I went from being the “perfect” Mom with my Son to now sometimes encouraging a little bad behavior like, eating dessert before dinner and staying up too late with the kids to watch a special movie. CHD and Madison made me realize we get one chance, we have to take it for all its worth. I’ve changed the way I think about it…I took a bleak prognosis and decided it would be a constant reminder that the clock is ticking for all of us, and we are going to fill every hour, minute and second with love, laughter and LIFE!

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